IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Children
Use synonyms
 are like a white paper that
parents
Use synonyms
 can teach and suggest to them in an appropriate direction. Some
parents
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 always buy a thing whatever their
children
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 want,
while
Linking Words
 they
also
Linking Words
 allow
children
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 whatever
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want. In my opinion, I think that it is not a good way to grow them up. In the following paragraph, the consequences of
this
Linking Words
 style of raising
children
Use synonyms
 will be outlined in detail. First of all, most
children
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 will not realize the value of
money
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.
Parents
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 should teach them about the value of
money
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 and keep telling them which item is essential for their life.
For example
Linking Words
, my parent always teaches me that
money
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 is hard to obtain. They have to work hard and work extra hours to receive the
money
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when I want to purchase something, I will always think
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
 there is useful or not.
Next,
Linking Words
children
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 do not know which
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is proper to act with others. It means that they do not know which one is good and which one is bad.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parents
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 cannot spend their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 living with their
children
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 forever.
Then
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 should teach morals and ethics to
children
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 to handle the real situation when they growing up and they should teach them how can get
along with
Linking Words
 others as well. In conclusion, in my opinion, buying and allowing
children
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 whatever they want are not the proper choices to raise
children
Use synonyms
. In consequence,
children
Use synonyms
 will not realize the value of
money
Use synonyms
. They
also
Linking Words
 do not know which
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is good or bad when they have to spend their life with others in the future.

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coherence
Make sure your paragraphs have a clear main point and follow a logical order. This helps the reader understand your ideas better.
task achievement
You have a clear viewpoint about parenting, and you express it in your introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgent
  • entitlement
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • nurturing
  • self-reliance
  • adversity
  • autonomy
  • validation
  • dependence
What to do next:
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