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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion

#money #time
Having more
money
 and less free
time
 is better than earning less
money
 and more free
time
. The
people
 spend so more
time
 together
while
 do not have a
lot
 of cash .in my point of view, some
people
 are saying a
lot
 of finance better than a little
time
 . First of all , when we look at in our surrounding or social media and that
time
 we see so many rich
people
 in the world . They talk about own interview with together too many journalists and say : we are earning a
lot
 of
money
 in the global world .We would like to spend better and proactive
time
 together ,we have got a little
time
 each other
however
 spend full day .
Additionally
 , in recent years everything is so expensive in our life .
Finally
 ,society decided if You want to spend a quality
time
 and that
time
 you must be work full year. We know the world is change everyday .The
people
 think: we do not have lots of
time
 and
Time
 is going but period does not wait to us .We must be spend too much
time
 our family . Of course ,
money
 and its acquisition are important but there are many other aspects of life that have more meaning .In my opinion ,health and happiness the most necessary of than
money
. Read the book ,spend a
lot
 of
time
 our friends ,look for so many different activities, go to beautiful places and etc. is more useful. The humans must not only a
lot
 of
time
 in their parents but
also
 earn
money
.They ought to Keep a balance because all in all, the most important investment is our mental health and Valuable
time
 that we will never get back .
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay more logically, ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally to the next. Use clear topic sentences and transitions.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to introduce and conclude your essay effectively. The introduction should clearly present the topic and your opinion, while the conclusion should summarize your main points.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples. This helps to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Focus on presenting your ideas more clearly. Avoid overly complex sentences and keep your language concise and precise.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both views, which is good. This shows your ability to consider different perspectives.
task achievement
Your essay touches on important points about the value of money versus time, which is a relevant topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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