For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

In modern days, many youths spend their
time
shopping. If we examine the reasons behind
this
phenomenon,we notice that
media
is one of the main reasons behind it.
Furthermore
, young people should be motivated to take part in different activities that may provide health benefits,
such
as sports.
First
, the
media
has been bombarding our new generations with a vast amount of commercials, which is turning them into impulsive buyers. Meanwhile, these young people are no longer prioritizing their goals, but rather they are spending their money and
time
irresponsibly.
For instance
, my younger brother spends most of his
time
either in shopping malls or online stores. He wastes his
time
buying things that I believe he does not really need, but he has seen on TV or on the internet.
This
shows how
media
has created for the young
ones
the urge to spend impulsively.
Second
, elder generations should advise and guide the young
ones
to do different activities,
this
would draw their attention away from shopping, and towards better alternatives. Sport is a great substitute that has a positive impact on our bodies and minds.
For example
, a father may provide his son with a gym membership to help him decrease wasting
time
shopping, as well as improve his health and mental well-beingness.
This
is an easy way to help our
ones
develop better health while limiting shopping
time
. To conclude I say, shopping should not be set as a top priority ,
however
,it should be set as a means of fulfilling needs,
Moreover
young
ones
should learn not to fall victim to the
media
. If each one of us takes the initiative to encourage our young
ones
towards better options,
then
our young
ones
will become more self-controlled towards shopping.
Submitted by dr.salmaasinno on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: