IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that people can use animals for the benefit of humans. Others believe that this practice is wrong. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #animals #benefit #humans #practice
Some people think it is natural to
use
animals
 for human welfare,
lunderstand
Correct your spelling
understand
 their opinion. but I believe that
this
 reasoning is wrong. We should avoid using
animals
 for selfish purposes because
animals
 have the right to live freely. It is widely recognized that people
use
animals
 to develop science and technology.
Animals
 like mice and frogs are often used in laboratory tests.
In addition
, they are used to develop and discover medicine.
For example
, scientists
use
 rats as test subjects to find potential cures for diseases.
Animals
 are
also
 used for a variety of other purposes. We often see them in zoos, animal shows and at science fairs. Using
animals
 in these ways is
absolute
Correct article usage
an absolute
show examples
 abuse
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
animal rights. Using
animals
 to cater to our needs is detrimental to the universal balance of
species
. The population of many
species
 has reached dangerously low levels because of human activities.
For example
, the number of
species
 of whale has been greatly reduced in spite of the whaling ban because of human demand for their oil, meat, and other parts. Animal rights groups argue that
animals
 should be respected. Like us, they suggest that
animals
 should be free to live and escape extinction. I completely agree with the idea that
animals
 and humans should be treated equally.
Animals
 and humans are both temporary residents of
this
 planet, and one is no more important than the other. We should not abuse
animals
 just because we are more intelligent or powerful.
Instead
, we should
use
 our intelligence to come up with ways to be less dependent on
animals
. One way to do
this
 is to conduct medical tests on computer simulation models
instead
 of on rats. All in all, humans have the ability to treat
animals
 fairly and
that is
 why we should allow them to live freely.
Otherwise
, we will be abusing them and leading their
species
 to extinction. To avoid
this
, we should make it our collective goal to be less dependent on them.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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