IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?.

#children #pressure #perspectives #pressures #measures
The picture presents a comparison of the
park
 map in 1980 with the present moment. At
first
 look, a major change in
park
 layout has been observed with significant changes to tree and flower sections on the east
section
 of the
park
. A significant improvement is done in terms of accessing the
park
. In 1980, there were only to entrance to the
park
 which has been
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
increased
show examples
 to four each from all the four directions. On the left
section
, an additional sitting arrangement is incorporated near the pond,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the size of the pond remains the same. South of the pond, the flowers area has been reformed into bushes, and a bit wider than
Correct article usage
the pervious
show examples
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
 area.
On the other hand
, an eye-catching development is observed
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the trees place
Change to a genitive case
the place of the tree
the place of the trees
show examples
. The tree area is
further
 enhanced with chairs, desks, and barbecue.
Additionally
, the flower
section
 in
Add a hyphen
south-east
show examples
south
Add an article
the south
a south
show examples
 east
section
 is now converted to
playground
Add an article
the playground
a playground
show examples
. Overall, the
park
undergone
Add the auxiliary verb
underwent
has undergone
show examples
 a major change with respect to structure and accessibility to the
park
.
Submitted by kumargaurav.95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: