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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion?

#study #time #people #internet #beings #communication #possibilities #world- #effect #interaction
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A recent survey has made it evident that
ppeople
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people
 are exhausting a greater
amoutnt
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amount
 of
time
 on the
internet
 these days
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
thus
 spending less
time
 socialising in person. I strongly agree that
although
 the
adven
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advent
tof
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of
to
internet
 has
windened
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widened
 the means and scope of
communiucation
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communication
, it has
also
 had
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effects on the amount and quality of social interaction that takes place. It is absolutely indubitable that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has significantly smoothened the
wayt
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way
 humans used
tio
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to
 communicate with
each-other
Correct your spelling
each other
show examples
 in the past. The advent of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 had made it convenient for us
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 in
tocuh
Correct your spelling
touch
with
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 loved ones in a convenient manner. Whilst in the past, communication 3was only
possibnle
Correct your spelling
possible
 by phone
ot
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or
 email which involved
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 amount of
time
 and expense and yet the experience was still not really impressive. With the
internet
,
this
 has changed dramatically. Email and social networking sites
such
 as Facebook and MSN have
cretaed
Correct your spelling
created
 online communication that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 global in scale, and they have fostered communication between people and countries that we would
nmot
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not
 have thought
possibnle
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possible
 in the not too distant past.
This
 development is not without concerns as people, especially the younger
generationn
Correct your spelling
generation
generations
, have started spending
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
 part of their day talking to knowns as-well-as strangers.
Altyhough
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Although
this
 can be beneficial, it is certainly
mot
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 the same as real interaction with human beings and does not involve the same interpersonal skills. Not only
this
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
it can
also
 have negative effects on local communities if people are spending most
ogf
Correct your spelling
of
tehir
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their
the
time
communicatonf
Correct your spelling
communication
communications
onlien
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online
 and not mixing in their
neighbourhod
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neighbourhood
, which could possibly lead to feelings of isolation for those individuals who do not have a 'real' person to turn to in times
ofg
Correct your spelling
of
 need., To conclude, I
belive
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believe
show examples
 that the
unternbet
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internet
 has undoubtedly been beneficial, but there are good reasons to be conceded about the rapidly dying-out conventional way of
interation
Correct your spelling
interaction
 on our societies. It is
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
impotant
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important
 that we maintain a balance between our online life and our contact with real human beings to
avoind
Correct your spelling
avoid
 being entangled by World Wide Web.
Submitted by inder.australia90 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital era
  • Social isolation
  • Cyberspace
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Face-to-face communication
  • Global village
  • Virtual reality
  • Remote connections
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Digital divide
  • Cyber-socialization
  • Screen time
  • Online networking
  • Physical disconnection
  • Social dynamics
What to do next:
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