some people believe that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children. Others say that they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion

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These days, Children are taught to

be facing

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

challenges and not

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

up in their schools.

While

Linking Words

it is true that, competition can encourage youngsters to become more brave and

confident

Correct quantifier usage

more confident

show examples

, statistically parents who teach youngsters cooperation have tended to be more humble and kind

such

Linking Words

as helping nature and proper manners

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

results in

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

upbringing. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain my views with examples. In my view, little ones need to be more humble and learn that competition is not always the key to success. Many young adolescents in high schools get offended when they

are come

Change to the active voice

come

have come

show examples

second in studies because parents pressurise minors to always be the first no matter what,

this

Linking Words

affects the growth of children and develops self-doubt that they can never make their parents happy. Indeed, a 2020 report by the child psychologists team reported that children who are always focused on being the first and competing with other teammates, are proven to be 80% depressed and are more inferior.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is one of the main reasons why

kids

Use synonyms

feel left out.

Moreover

Linking Words

, competition in school

kids

Use synonyms

gives them anxiety attacks when they do not complete a task on time. In the same article from the child psychologists team, as mentioned above, doctors claim that young

kids

Use synonyms

who are always

pressurized

Verb problem

pressured

show examples

to win no matter what by their guardians are proven to be introverts lacking social skills, and almost 60% of

such

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

turns them into bullying their classmates.

However

Linking Words

, these actions of always being competitive make the youth more aggressive and anxious. In conclusion, these are some of the many drawbacks that teaching minors to always be more competitive can lead to a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset in youths. Surely, individuals guiding youth to learn to be humble and kind

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

benefitted society in many ways.

At the end

Linking Words

of the day,

such

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

grow up and become responsible citizens who actually care for their people.

khadijamahme96Sun Mar 20 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to logically connect ideas and support the main points.

task response

Fully address the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of competition and cooperation in children. Ensure that the examples provided are relevant and support the main points effectively.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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some people believe that feeling of competition should be encouraged in children. Others say that they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and eduation. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?