IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

#people #home
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to some trust issues, nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 feel unsafe both at home and outside their home. There are myriad reasons behind these problems
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
crimes
Use synonyms
 and unemployment;
however
Linking Words
, few remedies like providing mental health education and
jobs
Use synonyms
 could be the best solutions for
this
Linking Words
 problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
crimes
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 are increasing day by day;
therefore
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 see these horrible
crimes
Use synonyms
 in their's location or watch crime news, they get scared and a sense of insecurity generate in their minds.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In ,India most
people
Use synonyms
 are unemployed so
people
Use synonyms
 tend to commit
crimes
Use synonyms
 to fulfil their basic needs,
such
Linking Words
 as food and clothes.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey, which is conducted by Times Now, stated that due to Covid-19
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 lost their
jobs
Use synonyms
 in India and which led to
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 in the
rate
Use synonyms
 of robbery in the country. So these types of news affect
people
Use synonyms
's minds they do not feel a sense of security anywhere.
Although
Linking Words
 there are so many causes that
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem, few solutions help to eliminate
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Government should organise a free mental health education program. In which
people
Use synonyms
 will understand basic human psychology and they
also
Linking Words
 help
people
Use synonyms
 to tackle unwanted fears and insecurity problems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they teach
people
Use synonyms
 to stay calm and optimistic so that
people
Use synonyms
 do not acquire any mental health disease just because of their stress and tension. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, Government should generate more and more employment;
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will be able to earn money to fulfil their basic desires.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
crimes
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in western countries is low as compared to India because almost all the
people
Use synonyms
 have
jobs
Use synonyms
 and they are busy in their lives. In conclusion, it is oblivious that nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 do not feel safe because the
number
Use synonyms
 of
crimes
Use synonyms
 cases is increased. If the government will provide more
jobs
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 the
crimes
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 will automatically decrease.
Submitted by jk127987 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: