some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that miney could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

Many people think that the
government
has been spending a whole lot of
money
on
art
, which could have been put to some better use.
This
appears to be a very good rationale since there are various sectors in the country which needs
government
funding to grow and flourish.
However
, I do not completely agree with
this
viewpoint. I believe that once an artist has poured out his talent for the world to see, that becomes history
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
needs to be preserved and displayed. There have been many artists in form of great painters, architects, poets, etc., and their arts
such
as Leonardo da Vinci's 'Mona Lisa', Shah Jahan's 'Taj Mahal', Vincent van Gogh's 'Starry Night' which have made many eyes pop and minds blown away. As it is known that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, it really takes
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
to understand other people's work and appreciate them as well. These artists have shaped
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
of mankind and preserving their
art
is really important and it is the duty of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to ensure the maintenance of the museums and monuments where these precious arts have been kept for display to the general public. I do not believe that
this
is
awaste
Correct your spelling
a waste
a wasted
of
money
since any
art
is a major tourist attraction and brings in a lot of revenue generated by tourism which
further
boosts the economy of the country.
On the other hand
, there are people with
such
mindsets that
art
acts as a cover for a lot of illegal activities and is a sheer waste of
money
. Well, there are risks related to
money
laundering which are quite prevalent in the
art
industry but with proper regulations by the
government
, the risks can be controlled. The
government
could
also
reduce the
money
spent on
art
preservation and
instead
spend it on other important areas
such
as
to educate
Change the verb form
educating
show examples
women,
to minimize
Change the verb form
minimizing
show examples
poverty
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, to increase public security.
This
can be achieved by organising fundraisers to protect and publicise the
art
and the artists. It is true that the country has more grave issues where
government
's funds can be used rather than using it for
sustenance
Add an article
the sustenance
show examples
of
art
but I believe with proper allocation of funds and organising fundraisers and charity events,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can look for an alternative source of funds to preserve and protect the
art
industry which has been a great source of entertainment and knowledge for centuries.
Submitted by yashkhatri1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: