Nowadays many people spend less and less time at home what are the cause of this .what are the effects of this on individuals society
It has been observed that in recent blood pressure, back pain,headache and diabetes.
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
are
not Verb problem
have
stay
at home and spend lots of time Wrong verb form
stayed
at
outside.There are several reasons for Change preposition
apply
such
a situation and circumstances which has been
resulted Wrong verb form
have
due to
this
issue. Both the reasons and circumstances are elaborated further
.
To commence with, out of all, the foremost one is unemployment. To explain it, people often go to
Change preposition
apply
the
outside for searching job who has no work.They spend lots of time in the out area.Correct article usage
apply
Also
who are employed need to go the various places to visit as well as
the archive task. Secondly
is leisure hour. To explicate it, nowadays almost facilities
are available in the malls like the cinema, Correct determiner usage
all facilities
adventures
, games, restaurants and shops. If someone goes to the mall put the at least 4 hours for all of Fix the agreement mistake
adventure
this
.Therefore
cannot put most of the period at home. For example
, The WHO revealed that every year ,5 million unemployees are suffering from depression. Hence
, the least hour spent by individuals at the house.
However
, the mentioned cause have
some impact too. The primary one is That unemployment has some health problems.The individuals cannot relax Correct subject-verb agreement
has
while
it, by
depression they often Change preposition
apply
suffered
. ,Wrong verb form
suffer
Also
other diseases likeCorrect word choice
high
Moreover
, the people who consumed daily the
junk foods like pizza, Correct article usage
apply
burgers
suffered from obesity and many health issues
In conclusion, today regarding Correct word choice
and burgers
the
unemployment and leisure activities individuals Correct article usage
apply
are passed
the least duration at the house.Wrong verb form
spend
As well as
regarding it can face circumstances like mind
disease , fat and the blood pressure.Replace the word
mental
Submitted by Farhanamodi28 on
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task achievement
Consider elaborating further on the effects of spending less time at home, specifically regarding societal impacts. This would provide a more balanced response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Simplifying complex sentences might help in making the ideas more coherent.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support claims. This helps not only with clarity but also in making the argument more convincing.
task achievement
You have identified key reasons like unemployment and leisure activities that lead people to spend less time at home.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...