Nowadays many people spend less and less time at home what are the cause of this .what are the effects of this on individuals society

#people #time #home #effects #individuals #society

It has been observed that in recent

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

not

stay

Wrong verb form

stayed

show examples

at home and spend lots of time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outside.There are several reasons for

such

a situation and circumstances which

has been

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

resulted

due to

this

issue. Both the reasons and circumstances are elaborated

further

. To commence with, out of all, the foremost one is unemployment. To explain it, people often go

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outside for searching job who has no work.They spend lots of time in the out area.

Also

who are employed need to go the various places to visit

as well as

the archive task.

Secondly

is leisure hour. To explicate it, nowadays almost

facilities

Correct determiner usage

all facilities

show examples

are available in the malls like the cinema,

adventures

Fix the agreement mistake

adventure

show examples

, games, restaurants and shops. If someone goes to the mall put the at least 4 hours for all of

this

Therefore

cannot put most of the period at home.

For example

, The WHO revealed that every year ,5 million unemployees are suffering from depression.

Hence

, the least hour spent by individuals at the house.

However

, the mentioned cause

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some impact too. The primary one is That unemployment has some health problems.The individuals cannot relax

while

it,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

depression they often

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

. ,

Also

other diseases like

Correct word choice

high

show examples

blood pressure, back pain,headache and diabetes.

Moreover

, the people who consumed daily

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

junk foods like pizza,

burgers

Correct word choice

and burgers

show examples

suffered from obesity and many health issues In conclusion, today regarding

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unemployment and leisure activities individuals

are passed

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

the least duration at the house.

As well as

regarding it can face circumstances like

mind

Replace the word

mental

show examples

disease , fat and the blood pressure.

Submitted by Farhanamodi28 on Sun Mar 20 2022

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task achievement

Consider elaborating further on the effects of spending less time at home, specifically regarding societal impacts. This would provide a more balanced response to the prompt.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Simplifying complex sentences might help in making the ideas more coherent.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples to support claims. This helps not only with clarity but also in making the argument more convincing.

task achievement

You have identified key reasons like unemployment and leisure activities that lead people to spend less time at home.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many people spend less and less time at home what are the cause of this .what are the effects of this on individuals society

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Government Intervention in the Economy: Some people believe that governments should regulate the economy, while others argue that the economy should be allowed to regulate itself. Discuss both views and give your opinion in 250 words.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?