There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Music is
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word crucial.

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crucial cultural and conventional issue of a kingdom and a wealthy style of
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song
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the song
a song

The noun phrase song seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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might be determined all over the
global
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globe

The word global doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that now no longer handiest entertains us
however
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additionally
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expresses our joy, nationalism, freedom, happiness, love and struggles
within side
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withinside

The word within side seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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the best shape of arts. Despite the big recognition of worldwide
song
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,
conventional
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the conventional

The noun phrase conventional song seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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song
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remains greater critical because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

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adherence to the conventional elements of a country. We want
song
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as it makes our
lifestyles
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significant and accompanies us in the course of our lives. In our childhood, we concentrate and research
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song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs

It seems that song may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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clearly as a shape of amusement and joy. We discover ways to sing our
country wide
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countrywide

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anthem and our mother and father sing to us to assist us
sleep
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in sleep

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. Later in
lifestyles
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, we come upon lots of songs and
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song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs

It seems that song may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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as a part of our
lifestyles
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memories and our favourite
song
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regularly defines the man or woman we become. In our antique age, we see
lifestyles
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and recite reminiscences via
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song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs

It seems that song may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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we love. Music each expresses and arouses feelings in a manner that phrases on my own cannot, and it tells memories of our lives that we
lengthy
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long

The word lengthy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to hear.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

we want
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Add an article
the song
a song
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Use synonyms
Add an article
the song
a song

The noun phrase song seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
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to relax, to be entertained, to be inspired, to specific our emotions and regularly to alleviate boredom in
lifestyles
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. In thinking about which sort of
tune
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is the maximum essential, we have to renowned that conventional
tune
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teaches human
beings
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approximately their records and enables human
beings
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don't forget and maintain their
country wide
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countrywide

The word country wide seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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and cultural identity.
International
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The international

The noun phrase International tune seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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tune
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is frequently set in
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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very one of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun surroundings in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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kind surroundings that we haven't any revel in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed in twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

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and in spite of attractive and wonderful lyrics and
tune
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style, it is usually a business product which fails to mirror the proper memories in our
lifestyles
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. Traditional
tune
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, with the aid of using contrast, expresses the culture, lifestyle and records of a rustic and offers narratives of human
beings
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and their
lifestyles
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in a manner to be able to be constantly relevant.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

conventional
tune
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, with
none
Correct quantifier usage
no

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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doubt, is greater essential for us as human
beings
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in a society and a rustic. In conclusion,
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tune
Add an article
the tune

The noun phrase tune seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is a vital a part of our
lifestyles
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and existence, and I consider that conventional
tune
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ought to receive greater significance than global
tune
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in order that we are able to revel in
tune
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now no longer simplest for entertainment’s sake
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to research who we truly are.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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