IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sporfs to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sporfs #children
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There is no doubt that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity works and improving the attention of
students
Use synonyms
 about volunteering acts are crucial for
create
Change the verb form
creating
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 sound relations between young and old people.
Although
Linking Words
schools
Use synonyms
 learn
students
Use synonyms
 many valuable values, I think it would be more practical to focus on theoretical
courses
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 rather than any other suggestions. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will delineate
this
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 notion and
then
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 come up with an opinion.
The charity
Correct article usage
Charity
show examples
 works generally inculcate many precious values in children, but these good volunteering acts should not be as mandatory
courses
Use synonyms
 in
schools
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. In order to increase the awareness of
students
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 about these issues, the volunteer itself should be based on an individual selection. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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, if you force
students
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 to do some
fairness
Replace the word
fair
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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, they will likely hate what they are obliged to do.
Furthermore
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, educational systems
mainly
Add a missing verb
are mainly
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 based on learning theories more than applied acts, so
this
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 could interfere, and could
also
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 lead to mess up these systems.
Besides
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, there are many
courses
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 that
overwhelming
Wrong verb form
overwhelm
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students
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, to some extent, especially
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are in the adolescence stage. In my viewpoint, parents should teach offspring how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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. The relationships between teens and parents when they attend high
schools
Use synonyms
 become more close because of their additional problems, and to resist their distraction from studying overall. In conclusion, though
schools
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 play a major role in learning, and they tackle many problems, which relate to
students
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, I wholeheartedly believe that
students
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 should be guided towards making different activities for the benefit of local societies during holidays only.
This
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 can help young
students
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 to pay attention more and more to their
courses
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 requirements.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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