These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the recent world,
a
numerous Correct article usage
apply
individual
are Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
chosing
to maintain their health by following Correct your spelling
choosing
on
the Change preposition
apply
doctors
opinion or taking Change to a genitive case
doctor's
doctors'
a
medicine more than changing their Remove the article
apply
lifestyle
to become healthier. From my point of view, I disagree with the idea that people
rely only on doctor
or medicine rather than changing their Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
lifestyle
to become healthier. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail.
Firstly
, it is true that people
are going to doctors
but rather than rely everything on doctors
, I would rather say that they are going to find a guidelines
or to know their health status so that they will know Correct the article-noun agreement
guidelines
a guideline
on
what their body is insufficient or need more caution on so that they could improve for on their Change preposition
apply
lifestyle
. For instance
, people
are going for check up
and they know that the vitamin D level of their body is lower than average. They can improve their Correct your spelling
checkup
lifestyle
to run early in the moring
as morning sunlight has vitamin D.
Correct your spelling
morning
Secondly
, excerising
Correct your spelling
exercising
is become
more popular in Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
the
society. These activities reflect the importance of Correct article usage
apply
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
lifestyle
that people
are reminded.
Change preposition
of.
For instance
, in Thailand, many teenager
are going to fitness or doing some exercise to make their Change to a plural noun
teenagers
heart beat
on a high level so that the blood could flow easier. Correct your spelling
heartbeat
Moreover
, to burn their fats and build muscle so their body are maintain
in shape and strong.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
are maintained
eventough
Correct your spelling
even though
people
are going to doctors
or taking some supplements, it is disagree
that Change the verb form
is disagreed
people
are not changing to
their Change preposition
apply
lifestyle
to become healtier
. Correct your spelling
healthier
People
are using doctor
for Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
Add an article
a guideline
guideline
or taking Fix the agreement mistake
guidelines
Add an article
the supplement
a supplement
supplement
in the area that their health needs to be improved which in my opinion, it is one of the healthy Fix the agreement mistake
supplements
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
people
should have done.Submitted by nuanpan.aumm on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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