These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle

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In the recent world,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

numerous

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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are

chosing

Correct your spelling

choosing

to maintain their health by following

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Use synonyms

doctors

Change to a genitive case

doctor's

doctors'

show examples

opinion or taking

Remove the article

apply

show examples

medicine more than changing their

lifestyle

Use synonyms

to become healthier. From my point of view, I disagree with the idea that

people

Use synonyms

rely only on

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

or medicine rather than changing their

lifestyle

Use synonyms

to become healthier. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is true that

people

Use synonyms

are going to

doctors

Use synonyms

but rather than rely everything on

doctors

Use synonyms

, I would rather say that they are going to find

a guidelines

Correct the article-noun agreement

guidelines

a guideline

show examples

or to know their health status so that they will know

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apply

show examples

what their body is insufficient or need more caution on so that they could improve for on their

lifestyle

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are going for

check up

Correct your spelling

checkup

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and they know that the vitamin D level of their body is lower than average. They can improve their

lifestyle

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to run early in the

moring

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morning

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as morning sunlight has vitamin D.

Secondly

Linking Words

excerising

Correct your spelling

exercising

is become

Change to the active voice

becomes

has become

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more popular in

the

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apply

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society. These activities reflect the importance of

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Use synonyms

that

people

Use synonyms

are reminded

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of.

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, in Thailand, many

teenager

Change to a plural noun

teenagers

show examples

are going to fitness or doing some exercise to make their

heart beat

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heartbeat

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on a high level so that the blood could flow easier.

Moreover

Linking Words

, to burn their fats and build muscle so their body

are maintain

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are maintained

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in shape and strong. In conclusion,

eventough

Correct your spelling

even though

people

Use synonyms

are going to

doctors

Use synonyms

or taking some supplements, it

is disagree

Change the verb form

is disagreed

show examples

that

people

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are not changing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

lifestyle

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to become

healtier

Correct your spelling

healthier

People

Use synonyms

are using

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

for

Add an article

a guideline

show examples

guideline

Fix the agreement mistake

guidelines

show examples

or taking

Add an article

the supplement

a supplement

show examples

supplement

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supplements

show examples

in the area that their health needs to be improved which in my opinion, it is one of the healthy

Use synonyms

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

people

Use synonyms

should have done.

Submitted by nuanpan.aumm on Sun Mar 20 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Write a letter to the manager of the Lost and Found department of the railway regarding the luggage you accidentally left on the train. In your letter, give details of your train trip describe the luggage you left on the train say what actions you want him/her to take

It is believed that citizens should pay tax to show their social responsibility. Others believe citizens should take other responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As housing is a basic need for people, the government should provide free housing for everyone who cannot afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is said that the fast pace of our everyday life, as a direct result of the rapid development of telecommunications technology and the travel industry, has negative effects on individuals, nations, and the globe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fewer and fewer young people are politically active because they see politics as irrelevant. How far do you agree with this statement? How can younger people be encouraged to participate more in politics?