IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Public servants play a crucial role in the development of any nation. It is always expected that permanent government employees must offer some services at no cost as a payback gesture to society.
This
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 essay will discuss why a little contribution of
work
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 from, them is always helpful to the nation's development. There are many reasons for
such
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 expectations. The major one is,
these personnel
Change the determiner
this personnel
show examples
 know how the systems
work
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. They can reduce the burden of the general public by simplifying the process that lay people find complicated in accessing the services.
For instance
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, My friend's father who is a lab assistant, and
also
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 possesses
knowledge
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 about the hospital infrastructure guides the patients to the respective departmental doctors in the out-patient department of the hospital during his after hours of
work
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.
Such
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 contributions enable smooth access to services for the citizens.
In addition
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, voluntary
work
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 performed in other fields gives them adequate
knowledge
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 about different areas. It not only eases the
work
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 but
also
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, enhances the skills of these staff which is beneficial to them and society as well.
Such
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 as school teachers who participate in National immunization programs shares
knowledge
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 about the disease conditions and the importance of vaccines in our lives.
This
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 will help them educate their students and society about the benefits of vaccination. In conclusion, working for the public free of cost will not only eases the government's functionality but
also
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, provides them with great
knowledge
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 about various topics.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable for expecting permanent government employees to do some voluntary
work
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 to return something to the community.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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