Nowadays , many people spend less and less time at home .What are the causes of this? what are the effects of this on individual and society?
Over the past of recent
year
, It is often said that more and more people have been Fix the agreement mistake
years
spent
more time out than at Wrong verb form
spending
the
home. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, It is fair to say that has causes and Marjory effects on all communities. I will point out some examples in this
essay on followed paragraphs.
Another problem that needs to be considered is that nowadays even those who live in a city or in the countryside have to work to afford to feed their family and pay their bills such
as electricity, Internet, food, and others. For example
, In ,general many are spending at least 6 hours at the workplace plus a couple of hours on the way in and out. In addition
to that, we have a rising number of unemployed
As well as
that, It is easily seen around
Change preposition
apply
the
individuals who do not have a successful career there are tended to develop serious drawbacks to their capacity Correct determiner usage
that
of living
on their rights. Change preposition
to live
For example
, some of them do need the help of public doctors. In Brazil every year has increased
Verb problem
,
the
number of people Correct article usage
a
who have
Verb problem
apply
developed
depression because they do not have much time with their children. Wrong verb form
develop
Moreover
, Today's days with
the extreme necessity of Change preposition
apply
show
success on their Instagram pages to others has driven them down to suffering diseases Wrong verb form
showing
such
as high blood pressure, diabetes, anxiety, anguish and countless different types.
To sum up
, pros and cons will always exist when people try to argue about this
subject which I believe that we should try to find a balance between work and healthy
way Correct article usage
a healthy
to
living our lives. Change preposition
of
Nevertheless
, our government should provide more benefits to the community to treat mental problems and health issues.Submitted by falcaowise on
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language use
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structures to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Provide more precise examples to support the main points effectively.
task achievement
Develop ideas more comprehensively to achieve greater depth in your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one to the next for better coherence.
introduction
The introduction sets the context for the essay's discussion of causes and effects.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both individual and societal impacts.
conclusion
The conclusion sums up the main ideas, emphasizing the importance of balance in life.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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