IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in owernship of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparsions where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in owernship of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparsions where relevant.
#show #changes #owernship #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #feature #comparsions
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The
graph
Use synonyms
 shows the graphical representation of the changes in
Use synonyms
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of electrical gadgets and the effort spent doing household work
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of time. the first
graph
Use synonyms
 depicts the comparison among three appliances washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner. In 1920 it was 0%
usage
Use synonyms
 of
Add an article
the refrigerator
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
 high, approx 30%
usage
Use synonyms
 of
vacuum
Add an article
the vacuum
a vacuum
show examples
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 and these
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
appliances have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time and in 2019
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 shows 100%
usage
Use synonyms
 by people of the country.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 we look
washing
Change preposition
at washing
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 people started using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 1920 at
rate
Add an article
a rate
the rate
show examples
 of 40-50%
usage
Use synonyms
 but it didn't increase much in the coming year. The other
graph
Use synonyms
 is inversely related to the above
graph
Use synonyms
, in
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 it shows that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people use to work manually more hours around 50 hours per week but over the time period it is reduced to 10% as there is more
usage
Use synonyms
 of electrical appliances.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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