IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
There are
people
 who give their whole lives to working only in one organisation.
However
, it is said by some part of a society, that a better choice is to
work
 for varieties of companies. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will look into both views and I will express my own opinion about
this
.
To begin
 with, lots of
people
 choose to stay at the same
place
 of
work
 for a
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
log
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
 time. The reason for
this
 could be that they are likely to stay in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 comfortable zones rather than to adjust to the changes all the time. But, when a person
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 in the same environment for a long period of time, they are likely to be more efficient at
work
 than a worker who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 just come to
this
 company.
For instance
, my mom
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been working at the same hospital for over twenty years and she is doing her job very quickly and efficiently. In comparison, new
nurs
Correct your spelling
nurse
show examples
, who has come to that
place
 just a year ago,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
doen't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 know much about the
place
 and the stuff, so sometimes it can make her
work
 slower.
Thus
 ,it is clear, that "old" workers are used to the
place
 where they do their job,so they can be much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
quicker
Replace the word
quickly
show examples
 than "new" ones. But, is it really good for a human to stay steadily
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
place
? The
second
 thought is that
people
 should vary the organisations they
work
 for.
Doing
Change preposition
By doing
show examples
this
, we can learn many skills which can be very useful for us.
For example
, my aunt
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed a lot of places she worked
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and she has gained skills like managing to accustom to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 environment, new
people
, she has become open-minded and aware of many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ways of
handeling
Correct your spelling
handling
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
 and in the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 she has opened her own company with
this
 knowledge.
Therefore
, we can
behefit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 a lot from varying the organisations. In conclusion, there are
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both opinions.
However
, in my opinion, a better choice would be to
work
 for many organisations. In
this
 way, you can learn more and use
this
 knowledge for your own goals.
Submitted by vikaperehinets5 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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