IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Most people agree money can’t buy happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

#people #money #can’t #happiness
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It is popular that many
people
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 believe money cannot buy real
happiness
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 because it is not a thing to touch by hand but to feel by heart. Each person has their definition of
happiness
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 and there are
also
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 various ways to achieve
happiness
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.
First
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 of all, money cannot purchase
happiness
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. Cash is not everything that
people
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 need as it is just a tool and
this
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 means to help us carry our financial burden, raise our living standard or escape the slum.
Second
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, many
people
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 misunderstand
happiness
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 just because they felt happy after buying an opulent bag. It is satisfaction, not
happiness
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.
Happiness
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 comes when
people
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 know how to enjoy and appreciate simple things from their lives
such
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 as being grateful for having food, seeing the parents smile since only time will tell what is true
happiness
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.
Happiness
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 is an abstract thing so it is hard to define exactly. It strongly depends on
people
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’s perspectives and emotions because each one has a sense of
happiness
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 divergently.
However
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, everyone deserves to be happy and there are plentiful ways to achieve
happiness
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. It is the principle that
people
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 should set their sights on pursuing
happiness
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, not just satisfying themselves. The most common way is listening to the heart, to hear what it needs. A natural tendency of most
people
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 is they try to make friends with others but not connect to themselves.
Therefore
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, they could never know what should they do and just let life float. In conclusion, money is not able to buy
happiness
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. It is not the thing to buy,
people
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 have to find it in their daily life and enjoy
happiness
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 every single moment.
Submitted by Eteacher on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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