Some people believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by reading books. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Overall
, I agree with the statement that there is a need to set a
time
limit on the given sources of entertainment like television and playing
games
on a computer, and
instead
,
this
time
should be diverted to reading different
books
because
this
would assist
people
to enhance their communication, concentration, and knowledge.
To begin
with,
people
these days spend more
time
watching various things on television like series on Netflix, movies, and in fact, daily soaps as without a doubt they find them interesting. Apart from that, playing video
games
on the computer is full of fun as these
games
are built with various enticing features,
for example
, Roblox, Pubgee, and many more.
Although
these things are full of fiction and drama, and
this
is the reason humans like to spend more
time
on TV and on automated
games
, there should be a
time
boundation to spend on them.
On the other hand
, reading
books
assists
people
in learning new words, and
this
helps to raise their level of communication as they would be able to communicate with
people
around the world easily without any hesitation.
Also
, individuals would manage to enhance their concentration as consistent readers are always considered to be more focused .
In addition
,
books
are authentic sources, and we can rely on them if we want to gain knowledge in any aspect.
Books
are written by various renowned writers, and
people
can always learn new things by reading them.
For example
, in schools and universities, teachers always encourage, emphasize, and insist students read different
books
to get information about particular units as they are the best sources which students can trust .
People
who have a habit of reading
books
are always considered to be more knowledgeable. In conclusion,
although
it is inevitable that in the contemporary world with technological advancements, televisions and video
games
have become an indispensable part of life,
this
is
also
true that
people
should set their
time
limit to spend on them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and spare that
time
to develop a healthy hobby of reading
books
in order to gain more authentic knowledge, increase their level of communication and concentration
Submitted by harleenarora620 on

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example specificity
Try to include more varied and specific examples to support your points. While general examples are provided, adding more detailed instances can enhance the strength of your arguments.
sentence variety
Consider diversifying sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay further. While the essay already shows a good use of linking words, further variety could boost coherence.
argument clarity
To improve task achievement, make sure every paragraph clearly supports your main argument. Ensure each point is directly tied back to how reading books can substitute watching TV or playing computer games.
introduction/conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, clearly presenting your viewpoint and summarizing the main points of the essay.
logical structure
You've done well to structure your essay logically, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
language use
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and grammar, contributing to the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • passive entertainment
  • active mental engagement
  • foster
  • complex concepts
  • screen time
  • concentration and focus
  • counterargument
  • cognitive development
  • problem-solving skills
  • balanced approach
  • diverse media landscape
  • multi-modal learning
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