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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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Many suggest authorities should extend the period of
prison
Use synonyms
 for populations who commit a crime. Others,
however
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, take a different point of view and emphasize the need for more effective ways. In my opinion, it is better for a society to initiate new punishment. On one side of the argument, there are people who would argue that increasing the time for
prison
Use synonyms
 can help to alleviate the number of crimes in a community. Since offenders will be rehabilitated enough to not re-offend after leaving
prison
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. In general, when those people live in
prison
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, they have to pursue particular rules and acknowledge social skills.
Therefore
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, some populations believe that the more they are in a detention centre, the more they will become a better person after being released. In spite of the above argument, I hold the view that those illegal people must be educated on beneficial skills with the same amount of sentences. To elaborate, in many cases, offenders who commit to crime a
second
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 time is because they have a financial problem.
As a result
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, they will find a solution regardless of the consequences.
Hence
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, if official officers could introduce a well-educated in a detention centre, it would develop their behaviours and attitudes to be a better person and could reintegrate back into society. Another way of dealing with criminals of offenders
,
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apply
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 should be a security tag alarm attached to each person,
this
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 will prevent them from being harmful to society. And for these reasons,
this
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 statement will be stronger than the previous claim. In conclusion, having analysed both viewpoints, it is clear that seeking new ways of punishment is more significant.
Submitted by chdreamzase on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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