IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought by certain people that it is a must for high schools to take part in working in the
community
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 for free as part of their programmes. I completely agree with
this
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 because it is a way of training students to be responsible citizens and
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving back to the
community
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. First and foremost, it is a way of giving back to society for its continued support.
In other words
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,
this
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 is a means of showing appreciation to a
community
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 that backs the school.
For instance
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, many people from surrounding areas assist schools with financial and moral support,
hence
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 it is prudent that the schools reciprocate.
Therefore
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, without having compulsory school programmes like these, many pupils would shun participating and
thus
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 miss out on the opportunity to give back to the people in the
community
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.
Secondly
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, when learning institutions take
this
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 route, they are in turn teaching their pupils to be responsible
children
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 in society. Many
children
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 nowadays are roaming the streets because they
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not have an opportunity to learn how to be responsible.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, compulsory school arrangements
such
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 as participating in free teaching of sports to young ones offer them that chance
of learning
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to learn
show examples
 to be more responsible. Take,
for example
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, many of the
children
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 learn to show respect to adults through the offering of free services.
This
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 in itself is what constitutes a good
community
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. By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my statement that compulsory charity programmes help to give back to society and shape
children
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 into responsible adults in future.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. The conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your agreement with the statement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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