In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes? How should these young criminals be punished?

Enhancing the rate of juvenile delinquency globally, many people have concerned about it. They believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more
awareness
Replace the word
aware
show examples
of the justifications
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
would lessen
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
complications in future.
This
essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
causes of
this
issue as well as suitable punishments.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
the most fundamental reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct your spelling
youngsters's
youngsters
youngesters'
Correct article usage
the youngesters'
show examples
propelling toward crimes has to do with their careless families. To be honest, the majority of the kids upbringing
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in early ages of childhood occur at home by their parents and nowadays, not only the fathers work outside of
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
but
also
the mothers are less visible due to their domestic or social involvements.
Therefore
, the children would undergo the impact of their outlaw peers.
Moreover
, all the standards of living are not suitable for youngs' breeding. To elaborate in detail, poverty could terminate into greed and that, in turn, is the main root of corruption. So eradicating the destitution would diminish crimes
as a result
, undoubtedly.
On the other hand
, it should be considered that
missmatching
Correct your spelling
mismatching
of the crime and the punishment would result in keeping on the felony. So the level of fine must suit the crime. After all, the governments ought to supply job opportunities for adolescents in order to have a lucrative source of revenue and could deal with their life expenditures. To draw a conclusion from what was mentioned above, it can be
declaired
Correct your spelling
declared
that
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
range of factors originated from family, society and peers would turn a teen
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
a criminal and mutual understanding of them from early childhood
instead
of severe punishment could decrease felonies of any type.
Submitted by payamrap on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: