IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Certain individuals think that it is best to accept an inadequate condition,
such
 as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money .Some others argue that it is better to try and improve
such
situations
.In the majority of ,cases
people
 think that
fate
 cannot be changed and we have to go along with the
situations
 ,But others believe they have to change their
fate
 and they stood against
fate
 and
work
 hard until they build a career better way.I will discuss both the statements and
also
 give my opinion in the below paragraph.
First
 and foremost In everyone's
life
 problems can be occurred basically, but some
people
 face them and
work
 hard and search for solutions,but some of them accepted the bad
situations
 and live in the mess.some
people
 believe is just their
fate
 and they can accept the situation.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
people
 who come under
this
 category are jobless
people
 and less amount financial persons they don'
t
 want to improve their standards and they didn'
t
work
 hard for theirs.They believe that their
situations
 cannot be changed the god had made them like
this
. While the other hand
people
 believe that they want to become successful and think about the standard of
life
.,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
 they didn'
t
 have a job or less amount money they face the world and struggle hard and
work
 every day to achieve greater
life
.So,they desire a healthy
life
 as well as greater
life
.
For instance
,The famous person and
people
 called him a superstar.In the past he was a bus conductor now he become one of the wealthiest men in India.So,we didn'
t
 accept the bad
situations
 we can try to be live better. In conclusion, some
people
 accept bad
situations
however
 some of them believe to improve.In my ,opinion we have to improve our lifestyle and
work
 hard and face the
situations
also
 improve our standard of living. .
Submitted by sekharkoruprolu0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: