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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem

#students #focus #attention #school
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It has been observed by many pupils that they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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difficulty
to focus
Change the verb form
focusing
show examples
 on a lecturer while period.There are several reasons for
such
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 a situation and
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 some primitive steps can be taken to overcome
this
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 issue.Both reasons and measures are elaborated
further
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.
To begin
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 with, the foremost one is a mobile phone.To explain it, nowadays almost all students have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 cellphones, regarding it they lost in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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watching movies, web series and playing games.
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Also
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,Also
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 some of them attend extra tuition on online
classes
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, due to
this
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 issue in the
school
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 they cannot put
mind
Correct pronoun usage
their mind
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 in a lecture.
Moreover
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, the
school
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 environment, to elaborated it,some schools have strict rules as
a times
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times
a time
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, uniform, extra
classes
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also
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 some teachers behaviour like sometimes pupil get badly treated by a class teacher.
Hence
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,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 all of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 reasons the scholars cannot focus on
a studies
Correct the article-noun agreement
studies
a study
show examples
.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, some effective steps can be taken to solve
this
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 problem.
Fisrt
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First
, the parents should encourage their kids to the sides effects of
the
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apply
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mobile phones,
aslo
Correct your spelling
as
 they can
fixed
Wrong verb form
fix
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limited
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a limited
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 time for it.And could talk about advantages of education.
Secondly
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,the
school
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 should
provides
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provide
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 a positive
etmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
to
Change preposition
for
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 students.
For example
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, can
fixed
Change the verb form
fix
be fixed
show examples
 the sports
classes
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instead
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 of the extra
classes
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. Disciples get a
relex
Correct your spelling
relax
 as well as a happy regarding it,
furthermore
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, the
school
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 department could
encouraged
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be encouraged
encourage
show examples
 to the mentors that they should be talk and solve their doubt with love.Aa s result
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 might be can focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the study. In conclusion, it has no doubt that in recent times pupils are getting tired
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education,due to the mobile phone and a restriction of
school
Use synonyms
. But
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 all issues can be measured by the parents as well as the
departmen
Correct your spelling
department
 of the
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Farhanamodi28 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distractions
  • focus
  • pay attention
  • lack of interest
  • motivation
  • fatigue
  • sleep
  • classroom environment
  • teaching methods
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • workload
  • support
  • active learning strategies
  • engaging
  • student-centered teaching
  • realistic goals
  • rewards
  • balanced lifestyle
  • screen time
  • breaks
  • physical activity
  • support and guidance
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