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Band 5

Strenght and weakness analysis of scholarship analysis

#strenght #weakness #analysis #scholarship
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parallel, I will initiate the
program
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 with the ultimate goal to increase the school participation numbers of Indonesia’s children through
identity
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fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
. The main
program
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 is to create a
system
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 to facilitate the birth certificate
registration
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process
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 and public school
registration
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afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
. The
first
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 target is the families living in rural areas around east Jakarta, the place where I have been volunteering for years. I will start communication with local authorities (Head of
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 or sub-district) to explore the possible collaboration between us.
For instance
Linking Words
, the local government can provide the fast lane of
identity
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registration
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 services for families without
identity
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 that applied and submit the data requirements through our
system
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 for a specific period of time.
This
Linking Words
system
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 will be run by several parties which consist of a
program
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 team to establish and monitor the project progress and evaluation and volunteers that will directly approach and guide the target families. The
system
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 will function as a server to collate the initial information from each family to
further
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 be validated by the
program
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 team who fully understand the requirements and clauses for
identity
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registration
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. The validation
process
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 will result in a clear action point to volunteer as their guide to guide one family in collating the accurate requirements and ensure there is no data lacking before submitting to local government for the
identity
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 issuance
process
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. Through
this
Linking Words
system
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, the limitation of volunteers in terms of time and knowledge will be accommodated as the platform has live tracking for each
process
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identity
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registration
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.
Hence
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, even the volunteers keep changing over time, the progress can be still well maintained
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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