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In countries that have already achieved affluence, any additional wealth would not make people happier. Do you agree or disagree

#countries #affluence #wealth #people
In the modern world, it is often thought that
money
 is key to
happiness
 since many people are in rush to create higher income. I agree with the notion that more
money
 for the wealthy may not necessarily bring more
happiness
 and I will discuss
further
Correct pronoun usage
this further
show examples
 in the essay. It
is commonly believe
Change the verb form
is commonly believed
show examples
 that adding more
wealth
 to an existing prosperous background would bring more stability and
happiness
.
However
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 having
wealth
 is a stepping stone in searching for
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 meaningful purpose in
life
. The rich and famous are known to
be involve
Change the verb form
be involved
show examples
 in charitable projects and volunteer works and
this
 is evident in the case of Bill Gates, one of the wealthiest
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 in the world who has
Change the verb form
pledged
show examples
pledge
Correct your spelling
pledged
show examples
 the majority of his
wealth
 for philanthropy
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
.
This
 shows that the rich may not need more cash to make
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 happier. It is obvious that there are more precious things in
life
 than
money
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 benefits the wealthy, namely health and wellbeing. It is rather important to have a healthy lifestyle that leads to
Add an article
the wellbeing
show examples
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of the wealthy.
For instance
, in 2021 the richest countries in the world
such
 as China, Qatar and Singapore do not have the highest
Happiness
 Index.
Instead
Add a comma
,Instead
show examples
 countries with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
happiness
 index are Finland, Norway and Switzerland.
This
 goes to prove that more
money
 may not translate to
happiness
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I cannot deny the fact that
wealth
 brings plenty of improvements in many aspects of
life
,
such
 as better healthcare and education.
Therefore
 in
this
 case having more cash would bring
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of options in the affluent in terms of opportunities for better knowledge and treatment options.
For instance
 in
treatment
Add an article
the treatment
show examples
 of cancer, those with higher income may be able to opt for the latest chemotherapy regimes that may not be easily available if one has no allocation for it. In conclusion, there is no doubt that
money
 can buy plenty of things in
life
.
However
, I believe there are more things in
life
 that the wealthy needs other than what cash can provide. I agree that
money
 would not make the affluent happier.
Submitted by Jane on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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