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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #child #instrument
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Numerous scientists think that children ought to be learned playing musical instruments. In my opinion, there are only benefits to
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 musical instruments.
First
Linking Words
 of all,the main reason
in
Change preposition
for
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 playing
on
Change preposition
apply
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different musical instruments can give us an amazing mood.
However
Linking Words
,not only playing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a musical instrument can give us a good mood
,
Add the word(s)
but ,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 singing,listening to
music
Use synonyms
,dancing too. After school every child
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to relax,they can relax only with
music
Use synonyms
. They always enjoy doing it. In my own experience, my little sibling goes to an additional course to learn playing
in
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 guitar and
singing
Replace the word
sing
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. I respect him,he
always
Add a missing verb
is always
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buzy
Correct your spelling
busy
buys
,not lazy.
All time
Add a hyphen
All-time
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 he does
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
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 homework and
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
 modern songs.
In addition
Linking Words
,when I studied at school my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 lesson was
music
Use synonyms
. In that lesson we could everything like singing, dancing,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 new songs and our teacher taught us to play in piano.She taught me to love
music
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
Add a hyphen
present-day
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present
Add an article
the present
a present
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 day everything is developing, especially
music
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
subsequently
Add a comma
,subsequently
show examples
 I would like to say
parents
Change preposition
to parents
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,that we must
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 our children, maybe they love playing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a musical instrument, we can assist them to choose a profession . If they want to be
singer
Correct article usage
a singer
show examples
 or musician,
that is
Linking Words
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to be rich
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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