Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To relax body and mind every individual should indulge himself in an

activity

that gives him pleasure in leisure time. There are some people who argue that to make a hobby more enjoyable it should be much harder, whereas ,in my opinion, a hobby is an

activity

which should help a

person

to release his stress.

This

essay will not only discuss the types of hobbies should a

person

choose, but

also

present the views on pleasure time activities an individual should avoid doing. In

this

competitive world, everyone is under pressure whether it is a student, an employee or a businessman, if they have chosen their passion as their career

then

also

they are under the same umbrella,

Therefore

, a human being needs to be relaxed after a hectic

day

For example

, playing video games, reading books, watching movies, cooking, playing outdoor games and much more. These activities can help a

person

release pressure and make him ready to stand sturdy for the

day

. Many people try to level up their leisure

activity

to make it more interesting and joyful, in spite they become amateur.

On the other hand

, there are ones who think that by selecting the most difficult hobby they will be able to enjoy, despite it makes them feel more tiring for another

day

and they tend to loosen up their grip on health and career. To cite an example, a

person

choosing adventurous trips as his hobbies will end up feeling more tiring every

day

. In conclusion,

this

is proved beyond doubt that a leisure time

activity

needs to be soothing so as to relieve the brain and body of an individual.

Submitted by lalima.sachdeva6 on Wed Mar 23 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unique challenge
personal growth
mastery
accomplishment
demanding
thrill of achievement
pastimes
fostering
sense of community
mindfulness
stress relief
mental break
daily stressors

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