IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#popularity #street #shops
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the development of modern technology and infrastructure, people can do shopping much easier through e-commerce.
However
,
although
 some believe that online shopping can be replaced by destroying the high
street
shops
, I believe that the high streets
shops
 are going to be
last
 long for the three main reasons.
Firstly
, the prices we can get in the local
shops
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not much cost-effective and it can fall firmly in every buyer's budget range. While I concede that online shopping will have various discounts or vouchers going on all different seasons for their customers, the problem is buyers will not get the same range of benefits on every single product of their choice.
Moreover
, customers will not have to pay any delivery charges nor they should have to wait for the estimated delivery for the products if the
shops
 from local stores, Another area of concern for net shopping is to shop without
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 in person to show you the product specifications, While, the high
street
shops
 will have the staff to assist you and
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 to solve your quarries,
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 if anyone is running short of knowledge for what they are purchasing
then
 immediately they can get someone for their assistance and backup.
Finally
, my strongest argument is that it is good for the survival of
street
shops
, if we don’t buy their products and start giving
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 to online purchasing
this
 can lead to disaster for our local area
shops
.
Additionally
, if we
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 stop buying from them it can help them in improving their standard of living and can earn a lot of benefits for shoppers. In conclusion. Online shopping is not only time consuming but
also
 they cannot provide good quality of service.
Furthermore
, I acknowledge online shopping is easier and has various choices in them, I disagree that they can end high
street
shops
.
Submitted by mujahidmehdi1996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: