IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

University students should pay in full for their own education instead of the society funding their studies. The reason is that individuals tend to benefit after graduation more than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

#university #students #education #society #studies #reason #individuals #benefit #graduation
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It is believed by some people that
students
Use synonyms
 who want to pursue education in the university must pay the fees by themselves rather than the community helping them in funding.
Although
Linking Words
 these people argue about the advantages
students
Use synonyms
 get after graduation, I disagree with their statement. Many
students
Use synonyms
 want to build a great career in life by studying tertiary education. Unlike some rich background scholars, many
struggle
Change to a plural noun
struggles
show examples
 to afford college fees. When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society funds them in their study, it helps them to carry on their education without any economic pressure.
In other words
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 can deeply focus on their career development rather than working day and night to pay for university. In Australia, the US and UK, many
students
Use synonyms
 shift their focus on earnings rather than in study because society does not fund their reading. Paying the money for studying in the university is a big economic challenge to
students
Use synonyms
. To clarify, many tertiary institutions are highly expensive to afford and to obtain a degree from them,
students
Use synonyms
 are sometimes involved in short term money making ideas
such
Linking Words
 as poker or criminal activities
such
Linking Words
 as drug selling.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 end up in jail while studying.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a recent 7news channel broadcast, an Indian student was caught scamming people because of
eagerness
Correct pronoun usage
their eagerness
his eagerness
her eagerness
show examples
 to earn money quickly. In conclusion, the belief of benefits that individuals will get after finishing study is arguable as many
end
Change to a plural noun
ends
show examples
 up their important time in life deviating apart from books.
Submitted by arjunlama798 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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