Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their parent. Other believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Parents
play an important role in the upbringing and development of their
children
and no one can deny it. Some of us believed that
children
should spend all of their free
time
with their families and some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
believed opposite. And in my opinion,
children
should not spend all of their
time
with
parents
,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
they should be able to go out and explore with their peers. From the
first
opinion, any parent wants
accommodating
Change the verb form
to accommodate
show examples
and nurture their child
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
most complete and safe development environment.
Parents
can monitor
children
’s development
directly
Replace the word
director
show examples
and even can make some necessary
suggests
Replace the word
suggestions
show examples
if their
children
misbehave. If
parents
play with their
children
more
then
they will learn how to be more sociable.
Furthermore
, being with the family
also
gives
children
good protection and reduce the risk of falling victim to crimes
such
as abduction, human trafficking or bullying and negative influence due to pressure from peers.
Although
the
children
are strongly suggested to spend most of their
time
with their
parents
,
this
does not mean that they are not encouraged to interact
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
outside world because it’s
also
a good environment for
children
to develop their interpersonal and social skills through interaction with their peers. In some cases, it is impossible to take much care of
children
when they live in a family
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
dual-income or has one
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
as a breadwinner. Child-minding and after-school childcare can be perfectly viable alternatives. In conclusion, I believe that in order for
children
to be fully developed both physically and mentally,
parents
should spend
time
with their
children
and
also
let their
children
interact with the outside world.
Submitted by myngoc3003 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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