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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their parent. Other believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #parent #arguments #side #support
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Parents
Use synonyms
 play an important role in the upbringing and development of their
children
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 and no one can deny it. Some of us believed that
children
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 should spend all of their free
time
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 with their families and some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believed opposite. And in my opinion,
children
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 should not spend all of their
time
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 with
parents
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,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
,instead
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 they should be able to go out and explore with their peers. From the
first
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 opinion, any parent wants
accommodating
Change the verb form
to accommodate
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 and nurture their child
the
Change preposition
in the
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 most complete and safe development environment.
Parents
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 can monitor
children
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’s development
directly
Replace the word
director
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 and even can make some necessary
suggests
Replace the word
suggestions
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 if their
children
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 misbehave. If
parents
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 play with their
children
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 more
then
Linking Words
 they will learn how to be more sociable.
Furthermore
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, being with the family
also
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 gives
children
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 good protection and reduce the risk of falling victim to crimes
such
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 as abduction, human trafficking or bullying and negative influence due to pressure from peers.
Although
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 the
children
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 are strongly suggested to spend most of their
time
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 with their
parents
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,
this
Linking Words
 does not mean that they are not encouraged to interact
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 outside world because it’s
also
Linking Words
 a good environment for
children
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 to develop their interpersonal and social skills through interaction with their peers. In some cases, it is impossible to take much care of
children
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 when they live in a family
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 dual-income or has one
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parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 as a breadwinner. Child-minding and after-school childcare can be perfectly viable alternatives. In conclusion, I believe that in order for
children
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 to be fully developed both physically and mentally,
parents
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 should spend
time
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 with their
children
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 and
also
Linking Words
 let their
children
Use synonyms
 interact with the outside world.
Submitted by myngoc3003 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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