An increasing number of people choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operations #change #development

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In today's world, cosmetic

surgery

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has become a top priority for

individuals

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seeking a more appealing

appearance

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. In my view,

this

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approach has advantages and disadvantages, profoundly impacting their lives. There are two primary contributors to

this

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growing trend.

First,

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some

individuals

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endeavor

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endeavour

show examples

to attain perfectionism, driven by an intense desire to enhance their attractiveness. One potential explanation is that

individuals

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believe improving their physical

appearance

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will enhance their quality of life.

Furthermore

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, blind idolization is another key factor contributing to

this

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phenomenon, as many fans seek to mimic the lifestyles and appearances of their idols, often perceiving them as the standard of beauty.

Consequently

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, cosmetic

surgery

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is regarded as a viable means of achieving these aspirations.

For example

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, despite having natural beauty, many young girls in South Korea remain determined to undergo cosmetic procedures in order to enhance their physical

appearance

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and resemble their

favorite

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favourite

show examples

musical artists, regardless of the potential complications. When considering the impact of cosmetic

surgery

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it is clear that

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it has both positive and negative aspects. On the positive side,

this

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propensity can help

individuals

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boost their self-esteem by improving their physical

appearance

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This

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benefit can

also

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play a significant role in increasing their financial opportunities and enhancing their quality of life.

However

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, on the negative side,

individuals

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who opt to improve their

appearance

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through cosmetic procedures may experience severe complications

such

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as blood infections and nerve damage, which can detrimentally affect their

overall

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well-being.

Moreover

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, addressing these complications requires significant time and financial resources for effective treatment. Take Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, as an illustration.

Although

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he spent millions of dollars, he was unable to restore his facial bone structure, which had become distorted following cosmetic

surgery

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. In conclusion, the pursuit of perfectionism and the desire to resemble idols motivate

individuals

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to undergo plastic

surgery

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While

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this

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trend boosts confidence, it

also

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puts someone's health at risk. In my view, careful consideration should be given when

individuals

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intend to enhance their

appearance

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through plastic

surgery

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Submitted by Mads on Thu Nov 28 2024

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Task Achievement

While the essay introduces some valid points about the reasons why people opt for cosmetic surgery, further examples and exploration of these reasons could enhance the understanding of the readers.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider adding more linking words or phrases to clearly connect the main ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

Ensure the essay maintains a balanced view by providing equal weight to both positive and negative perspectives. This will give a more rounded discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively setting the tone and summing up the essay's argument.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses key reasons why people choose cosmetic surgery, like perfectionism and idolization, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Including real-life examples like South Korean youth and Michael Jackson strengthens the argument by providing concrete illustrations that support your points.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
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You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write an email to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email, give details of the purchase describe the problem explain why you need a replacement urgently

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?