IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing(for example,through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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Technologies
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 are now considered for observing what
people
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 are talking about and performing in society via using security
cameras
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 and telephone following.
In addition
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,
people
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 who are being observed do not know
this
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 is occurring.In my opinion,having these kinds of technology are produced more benefits than drawbacks.The following cases and examples below will help support my point of view. On the one hand,there are numerous positive results which are performed by modern
technologies
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.
In other words
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,
technologies
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 and innovations are becoming the most important evidence and witness for innocent
people
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 in a community.
For instance
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,a person who was stolen in front of the restaurant or department stores,
however
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,no one has seen the offender,so
cameras
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 which are installed in that places can certainly indicate the culprit and provide evidence for polices via videos.
Additionally
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,the quality of
cameras
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 is extremely well
such
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 as the colour and shape of the offender.So,having
this
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 technology can assist polices easy to arrest him.Another case is that when some
people
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 have lost their mobile phones,so cellphone tracking is completely effective.
As a result
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 of quickly finding and precise by following a networking system.
Moreover
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,there are reduced
people
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's stress and anxiousness in
this
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 circumstance.
On the other hand
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,some
people
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 may think that allowing these
technologies
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 can threaten their independence and personal rights because they may feel that someone is looking at them and want to carp them.
Therefore
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,having these systems seem to be unsatisfying for some
people
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.On top of that,if offenders know that they are monitored by
cameras
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,they will destroy those observing appliances.So,it is clear that if some devices are damaged,they will not perform and lead to a lack of evidence. In conclusion,using
technologies
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 have both pros and cons.
However
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,I still believe that there are more benefits in terms of security than disadvantages that affect individuals' emotions.The cases and examples above have supported my point of view to the best.
Submitted by nopcharai.si on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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