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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs
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It is a fact globally that celebrities and sports personalities are paid much beyond what they deserve. Though some believe the payment made to them is a fair remuneration while on other hand the notion of few people is it is incorrect to pay them that value. In
this
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 essay, I will showcase why the money allocated to them is above the regular payment bar.
Firstly
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, it is worth considering that
this
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 profession is not essential for the survival of society. During the covid times, it was evident that though their presence was not there, the daily necessities were met and
hence
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 their service is not crucial. Another point worth noting is the amount of time and money invested by an individual to groom and educate oneself is not at par with what an engineer or doctor would invest.
Although
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 they do need to evolve to be at the top,
however
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, if compared with the efforts a technician to establish his position in the market is much more.
Moreover
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, youths get influenced and try to enact activities with the thought of matching the skillsets by means of shortcuts and no hard work. Due to a shorter career ,span these stars need to yield as many benefits as possible
thus
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 finances become uncontrollable, and we must pay them higher.
Furthermore
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, entertainers represent the country at an international level which indeed brings name and fame to the motherland. On top of that, they are the face of the nation and display our culture in many functions and events attended by them. I would like to reemphasize that a big lump sum of money is paid to all the entertainers, whereas special armed forces and scavengers are the primary jobs which need to be paid better.
This
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 will allow sanity within the country and safer boundaries.
Submitted by akshata6.kas on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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