Your child is going on a school trip abroad for three days and the headmaster of the school has asked any parents if they would like to come along to assist. You would like to go. Write a letter to the headmaster. In your letter: Say why you would like to go Suggest what you could do to help during the trip Ask some further questions about the trip

#child #school #trip #three #headmaster #parents #questions

Dear Mr Robin, I am writing to you to enquire about the schedule of overseas school camp in the

month. At the outset, I was bewildered with joy to know that parents are allowed to join the event. It was indeed a very wise decision to incorporate the guardians as they know the eating habits of their juveniles and

hence

the kids would not fall sick in the camp.

Moreover

, the kids would

also

be on cloud 9 as their co-creators would be fostering them for a school event.

Secondly

, I would like to enquire about the trip like the campsite arrangement, what are the clothing requirements as the temperature fluctuates during the day in Shimla,

Additionally

, I

also

wanted to analyze if it is safe to carry pets along with as the maximum crowd is youths and they should not get scared. Apart from these, kindly

also

update on train schedule timings of arrival and departures and whether the itinerary is finalized.

Thirdly

, I want to assure you that I prepare very nice cuisines ,especially for children so I will be helping majorly in the kitchen.

Also

, I have organized various child parties earlier so will plan several games during the bonfire. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, (Ms) Neha Jaiswal

Submitted by nehajaiswal4220 on Fri Mar 25 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

216 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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