The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present-day. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world #population #humanity

The earth's population is significantly becoming more and more,and it means

that is

an enormous problem, so we should solve the issues. I totally agree with

this

statement that it is an issue. I think, there are many problems,and I try to discuss all of them.

First

, the biggest trouble is pollution, if the

people

are extending,that means there are likely to be plenty of rubbish. In our life is very essential thing is an air,everybody knows about it. We should plant a lot of trees,plants because they give us oxygen. And

then

will not be air pollution.

In addition

, we should teach our children do not

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

take away the rubbish,and it is air pollution too. In many

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

the community are growing

such

as Surya, South Sudan, but in other countries are decreasing,

such

as Italy or Japan. The

second

problem is accommodation.

Therefore

still are built new flats

instead

of houses, because flats are comfortable and there can reside many individuals.

In addition

, from my point of view, the government should control and limit the citizens ,

as a

result

Add the comma(s)

,result

show examples

will be no problems or issues. The

third

problem is food. Some parts of the countries in Africa are very hungry

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they are a lot of individuals, who cannot find bread even water.

Furthermore

, they do have not any clothes to wear . In my opinion, all republics must assist them, who have possibilities. And we can solve all problems. The power is together when everyone is joined. To conclude, I recognized that in the world are many very poor and rich

people

. Look at the poor

people

I must thank God, I must be very thankful.

In addition

, I should help the poor

people

as much as I can!

Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on Fri Mar 25 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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