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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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Nowadays the number of
people
Use synonyms
 in rural areas has been declining because some
people
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 are changing their habitat to big
cities
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. In my opinion,
this
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 trend could have both positive and negative effects. On the one hand,
cities
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 have infrastructure and services that can support a larger number of residents including things
such
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 as emergency services, health care, and education facilities.
Besides
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, it offers more opportunities for
people
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 to live and work in the area, and it affects the population in the countryside who want to move to
cities
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.
However
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, there are drawbacks to
this
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 trend, one of the most significant reasons to support
this
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 argument is that the local authorities in the country have not invested in infrastructure. There is no improve the crucial place whether it is a park, tourist attraction, or public transit.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 still live in rural areas, it can cause overcrowding leading to problems,
For instance
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, air pollution and higher crime rates.
On the other hand
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, there are various benefits for
people
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 not moving to the
cities
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.
For example
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, the local authorities can invest in many facilities
such
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 as hospitals, police stations, temples, and community halls for locals in the area.
Also
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, transportation options make
visitors
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it visitors
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 easier when
traveling
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travelling
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 there.
In addition
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, the less traffic or sound from factories,
this
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 quiet gives more privacy, which helps us feel relaxed and relieves stress in daily life. Closer to nature
due to
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 it being near the forest and mountains area.
Furthermore
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, reduces costs in many ways. In conclusion, the countryside and
cities
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 have advantages and disadvantages, we can choose where we want to go, it depends on the circumstances of individuals.
Submitted by theejuta.b on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and progression, ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. You can use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader and reinforce the connections between your ideas.
Task Achievement
In task achievement, focus on providing clear, specific examples to support your points. You could enhance the discussion with more detailed instances, which can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topic and presents the writer’s stance.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively balances the discussion of both positive and negative effects, indicating an understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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