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Band 4.5

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present-day. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world #population #humanity
The number of
people
 in the world is increasing considerably day by day,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 secret to anybody. And it is not the main problem that
people
 encountered.
However
, I, absolutely disagree with
this
 notion,because in our modern-day other issues exist.
For instance
, global hunger,
wars
 and alteration
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 climate. These are real and our major problems. The
first
 issue, in many parts of the
world
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,world
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exist
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exists
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 the global hunger, especially in some countries of Africa. They cannot purchase even water. In fact, that there
every day
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everyday
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 pas away many children from lack of food. The
second
 problem is
wars
. Everyone hates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wars
,I think, because in
wars
 a lot of
people
 die, lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everything even clothes,so I do not want to imagine and even think about it. I wish that everyone would live together in peace. The
third
 problem is climate
changes
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change
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.
This
 issue we cannot discuss
,
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apply
show examples
because we cannot control the weather, the sun or the rain or the snow. In my point of view, these all problems
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 tests
from
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by
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 God. To conclude, in my opinion, we must assist
to
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apply
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poor countries.
In addition
, I really want to live in peace and everyone wants, so no
wars
. Watching the
wars
 and hearing about poor
people
 we must be thankful for things we have.
In addition
, we cannot control the population of the world, because
Correct your spelling
everybody
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every body
Correct your spelling
everybody
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 wants to have a lot of children. And it is good I think
,
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apply
show examples
 because our prophet Muhammad comments us to live with a lot of children and reside with our relatives.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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