In the past, people wore their traditional clothes and followed their culture. These days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar to one another. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the past,
people
used to wear their traditional clothing to preserve their culture which represents their identity and ancestors'
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. Nowadays,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of the
people
in the
world
wear the same types of
clothes
that are difficult to distinguish each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. I
also
believe
this
new trend brings us many advantages that outnumber
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
disadvantages so I will describe its benefits and argue drawbacks with reasons in
this
essay.
Firstly
,
people
started wearing modern costumes when they knew those are convenient with every
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
because they can move freely with those and feel very comfortable.
Secondly
, those
clothes
are economically profitable because they can be mass-produced with machines
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
most traditional dresses which are time-consuming and cost more because of manpower. So
people
normally choose modern costumes as they are cheaper than traditional outfits.
Lastly
, wearing similar outfits across different countries across the
world
reduces a lot of dress-based discrimination. On the other point of the view, there are still
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
and one of the main concerns is that some
people
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
show examples
their traditions and cultures could disappear if
people
didn't wear traditional
clothes
anymore. And just like they worry, most
of
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apply
show examples
teens and youths in the
world
doesn't even know their culture and traditional outfit's names.
However
,
this
type of
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
can be reduced because
people
still wear their traditional clothing in their cultural ceremonies which are
holding
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
every year. In conclusion, wearing modern
clothes
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
similar to each other across the
world
have many benefits that can beat
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
drawbacks and some of them can be solved by
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
reasons. Modern
consumes
Replace the word
consumers
show examples
are comfortable, economical and prevent discrimination among
people
.
Submitted by Nobel on

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