IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent hospital. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #drug #addicts #criminals #jail #patients
Based on the differences that exist in societies regarding drug-addicted people,some individuals believe that they should be prisoned,whereas the opponents,including me, look up to them as sick folks and mention hospitals as the correct resort for assisting them.
However
,both sides are uttered here. One of the most effective steps that are required to be taken to get rid of the dependency on drugs has to do with both professional consulting and utilizing medical services,
such
 as replacing remedies.
Hence
,it is logical that hospitals out to take the responsibility of assisting them,indeed doctors are the most capable experts in
this
 realm.
Furthermore
,in the majority of the cases,not only their physical and psychological aspects but their future
also
 would be collapsed,which can lead them toward addiction again.
For instance
,on the majority of occasions, they cannot grasp a job vacancy if employers become aware of their previous lives,which would be imprinted on their file forever in courts.
On the other hand
,both smoking or injecting some substances are against rules,
therefore
 they are supposed to be considered as lawbreakers.To enlighten,they should be penalized just like other defaulters and if not,the meaning of fair would be abandoned.
Moreover
,their communication with others can be detrimental,particularly for juveniles,who do not have adequate experience.To illustrate,it is feasible for them to abuse children by selling drugs to them in order to address their financial issues or even get involved in burglary or kidnapping. To conclude,while some individuals are of the notion of keeping drug addicts in jails as they have ignored the law of a country,to me they are better to be kept in clinics that are experts in helping them to return to their ordinary lives,which can be more fruitful to refine the society.
Submitted by drpnima on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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