IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Last week, you celebrated your birthday with some friends in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed yourselves very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter mention the food and service explain that you really enjoyed the atmosphere suggest any improvements to make things better You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#week #birthday #friends #restaurant #success #food #service #atmosphere #improvements #addresses #sir #madam
Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
 message finds you well. I am writing to congratulate you on the outstanding services and food at your restaurant.
Last
 weekend, I celebrated my birthday with some friends, and we were all pleasantly surprised by our
experience
 at your establishment. We were particularly impressed by the variety of food options available. It was incredible to find both local and international dishes,
as well as
 vegetarian options all in one place.
Additionally
, the service provided by your team was exceptional; they assisted us throughout the evening.
Moreover
, the atmosphere of the restaurant was remarkable. The decoration beautifully showcased different regions of our country, and the music was the perfect complement to our dining
experience
. I can't recall all the details, but I think I danced the night away! I do have one suggestion for improving the
experience
 of your future guests: the parking situation. We had difficulty finding a space in the lot. Perhaps you could consider partnering with local businesses nearby to enhance the
overall
experience
 for your guests. Thank you very much for your time, and I look forward to visiting again soon. Yours faithfully, Brad Pitt
Submitted by easocadaguica on

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down the paragraph about the atmosphere into two separate ones: one focusing on the restaurant's decor and another on the music and overall ambiance. It will make the letter even more reader-friendly.
task achievement
You could add a brief mention of something specific from the menu you particularly enjoyed. It will make your praise more personal and detailed.
coherence cohesion
The letter is very well-organized and each point is tackled in a clear and logical manner.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is very appreciative and polite, which is suitable for this kind of correspondence.
task achievement
You included helpful feedback on how the restaurant could improve, which shows a balanced and thorough review.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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