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Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #doubt #globalisation #world #people #business #nations #criticise #progress
Some individuals often argue saying internationalisation has greatly benefited the planet by uniting people, enterprises and countries. While others dispute claiming it has hindered success. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and think that globalism has more merits than drawbacks.
To begin
 with, globalism has eased the spread of innovation and technology.
This
 is because individuals can exchange knowledge with international partners.
Therefore
, advancing inventions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 the populace.
For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg, an American citizen co-founded Facebook with a Brazilian national after they met at the University of Havard.
Thus
, globalisation has benefited the science industry.
In addition
, cross-culture exchange between countries and citizens has improved. Nowadays, people are able to travel to different nations without restrictions to learn new traditions and
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
.
As a result
, returning home with new traditions.
Hence
, interchanging customs among different tribes across the world.
Furthermore
, business firms often have access to new markets. Due to
exploration
Correct article usage
the exploration
show examples
 and expansion of enterprises beyond borders. Which is a result of, good international relations.
For example
, Shoprite, a South African supermarket has outlets throughout southern Africa due to new business opportunities. Thence, increased profit margins due to expansion.
Additionally
, increased tax returns to the treasury due to economic growth. By allowing international investors to
set-up
Correct your spelling
set up
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 companies locally who in return pay
levy
Add an article
a levy
the levy
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 to authorities.
Thus
, nurturing a two-way mutual benefit. In conclusion, I believe the merits preponderate the drawbacks of
this
 trend.
This
 is because globalism comes with the exchange of knowledge, lifestyle and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new market for expansion.
Submitted by Mikado on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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