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Band 5.5

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
In
this
 era of globalization,
competition
 is something that must be owned by people to improve their standard of living and competitiveness in life. Some communities
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that competitiveness should be encouraged.
Although
 some people that
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 should have more cooperation than
cempetition
Correct your spelling
competition
, it can be more useful for their future.
This
 essay will give
explanation
Correct article usage
an explanation
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both of views clearly.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one side, the standard of
competition
 makes young people more enthusiastic at
work
. With high competitiveness, it will improve performance and obtain maximum results at
work
 and studying.
For example
,
students
 who have high
competition
 will have a good enthusiasm for learning. The number of demands for lessons and assignments that should be completed by
students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 requires a teacher or school to give prizes or awards for
students
 who get high marks.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, many
students
 become individualistic in learning at school in order to get rid of competitors in their class.
This
 is very good for increasing the spirit of learning,
although
 I believe
competition
 is not a priority in the world of education. On the other side, at
this
 time
collaboration
 is
also
 something that attracts someone to
work
 and study. Humans who can collaborate mean humans who can collaborate and adapt to any conditions.
For instance
, The
collaboration
 of
students
 when competing in creating robots will be a good judgement for the judges. With
collaboration
, they can
work
 together in gathering great ideas that have never existed. The
collaboration
 of
students
 when competing in creating robots will be a good judgement for the judges.
Moreover
, they can
work
 together in gathering great ideas that have never existed. In conclusion, with
competition
,
students
 become more enthusiastic
in
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about
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 learning ;
although
this
 will be even better if
students
also
 have the power of
collaboration
 to make it easier to solve problems that will be faced in the future.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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