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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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It is a common belief that young individuals are not encouraged to work or
travel
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 for a
year
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 between finishing high school
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 and starting
university
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 learning in some countries.
However
Linking Words
, there is a more persuasive argument that they should take a
gap
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year
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 to
traveling
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travel
show examples
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 because the benefits from these
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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 are helpful to the
student
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 that will
study
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
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. On the one hand,
people
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Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who travel
show examples
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
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 or
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in the
year
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 after finishing high school can waste
there
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their
show examples
 time,
money
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 and they will gain a few benefits from it. Working in
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gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
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 usually do not make a lot of
money
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 because students almost have no
experience
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 before, which makes their job in
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 case are low-wage.
Travel
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also
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 consume time and
money
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, a
year
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 of travelling will cost a huge amount of cash and
people
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 if they do it, the
money
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 generally came from their parents. According to a
reccent
Correct your spelling
recent
 survey,
a
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the
show examples
third
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 quarter of
people
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 who take a
gap
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year
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 use more than 10000
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 in
travel
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 and with that
money
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, a non-
gap
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-
year
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people
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 can consume it for the
university
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 or college fee.
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Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
Student
Add an article
The student
A student
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also
Linking Words
 graduated a
year
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 later than a normal one does and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
year
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 after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
,
general
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the general
a general
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 can find a job with higher income due to the
dergree
Correct your spelling
degree
 that they earn.
Nevertheless
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,
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Add an article
a student
the student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 who take a
gap
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year
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 to
traveling
Change the verb form
travel
show examples
 and working
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 a lot of advantages because
this
Linking Words
 is a rare occasion in a life of an individual that they can do
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 they want as long as they will attend
university
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 or college a
year
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 later. Working without
degree
Add an article
a degree
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 is an interesting
experience
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,
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student
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students
show examples
are have
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has
show examples
 a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
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 memorable memories
beacause
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because
 they have
colleges
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college
show examples
, and get to know about
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 environment which are benefits
for
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apply
show examples
them later.
Travel
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also
Linking Words
 gained them unique experiences
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 they make friends many
people
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 around the world, discover local customs and they
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to have an open-mined after
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 in a long time. A
reccent
Correct your spelling
recent
study
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 has
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrated
show examples
 that
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who take a
gap
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year
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 usually have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 unique
experience
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 that a general
student
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are not have
Change the verb form
does not have
show examples
. And the
study
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 shows that these
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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 will help them later when they graduated and
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 employment. To sum
ip
Correct your spelling
up
IP
, while
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
there are some disadvantages when
people
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 take a
gap
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year
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 to
travel
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 or work between finishing school and starting
university
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study
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 , it is evident that these
Use synonyms
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 are rare and they should have their own one.
Submitted by nguyenanhngocphan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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