Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, while others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

#people #music #form #entertainment #impact #society

this

modern world, Nowadays

people

have different opinions about

music

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

only a way of entertainment, while others believe that songs play a very important role in

society

This

essay will discuss both of the views that

people

have and I support the view that

people

think that songs

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not a way of entertainment and it

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a vital role in

society

The main feature is that melody can bring us an atmosphere of happiness and relaxation,

Fist

Correct your spelling

First

show examples

off

music

has the ability to change our mood which can alter our feelings.

Therefore

, many working

people

or stressed students, most of them will choose to listen to a song to relax

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

For example

, some scientists do an experiment most of them will enjoy more and more exciting

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

work when they are listening to their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

song, so listening to tune can reduce our stress. .

Another

Change preposition

In another

show examples

view,

music

is an important part

Change preposition

show examples

our

society

, because tune can connect

people

, no matter what country you are from, it can bring them together.

For example

, when

people

go to a

music

concert, there will be a lot of

people

from other countries, they don’t know each other, but they can all feel the same thing by sharing their similar

music

taste

Fix the agreement mistake

tastes

show examples

, so they can connect. In conclusion, listening to

music

can reduce our stress

Correct your spelling

show examples

way

Add an article

a way

the way

show examples

of entertainment, but

also

tune is

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

part of our

society

because it can connect us with others with the same taste

Change preposition

show examples

melody.

Submitted by 2563150921 on Tue Mar 29 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, while others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the dis advantages?

In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only sin cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting University studies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage for young people who decide to do this.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career , while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school . Dicuss both views and give your opinion .