IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The goverment should allocate more funding to teaching sciences

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Our government ought to designate more financing to educate science
instead
Linking Words
 of other
subjects
Use synonyms
 in order for a nation to improve and advance.
This
Linking Words
 essay partially disagrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I believe that both
sciences
Use synonyms
 and other
subjects
Use synonyms
 are important for people to be more developed. Knowing
sciences
Use synonyms
 will generally improve literacy level, but knowing other
subjects
Use synonyms
 will let students find their way in life.
Body paragraph 1
More and more schools nowadays are focusing on
sciences
Use synonyms
 more
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 on other themes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, science is an integral part of our life, it explains most of the processes taking place on our planet, giving us general concepts about elementary phenomena and making us smarter. Without
this
Linking Words
 knowledge,
for example
Linking Words
, we wouldn’t know where do
such
Linking Words
 natural events as a thunderstorm and wind come from, or why both water and oil do not mix in one container.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, other themes
also
Linking Words
 matter in our lives. If schools didn't teach art, music, needlework and etc. thousands of students would not know their purpose in life and do things that they don’t enjoy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all these
subjects
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 our country to progress.
For instance
Linking Words
, visual arts help students to navigate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
modern culture, to see the world around them in a new way.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the freedom of creative manifestation in the classroom allows the child to be himself and not be afraid to do something wrong, make a mistake.
Body paragraph 3
In conclusion, for a larger percentage of the educated and employed population,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
classes in educational institutions should be taught
sciences
Use synonyms
 as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
(260 words)

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: