IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors.Discuss both views and gove your opinion

#people #happiness #success #factors #gove
optimism is a state of mind. Obviously, different people understand it in different ways. Some believe that economic triumph is an essential element to well-being, but others opine that factors like a stable family soul, secure source of income and good health are more important in achieving well-being.
This
 essay intends to analyze both perspectives. I,
however
, side with the latter view even though I admit that economic win
also
 has a minor role in exhilaration. Undoubtedly, to achieve personal contentment, an economic win is necessary, but its importance should not be exaggerated. Apparently, it is sensible to say that one needs sufficient money to live in a spacious apartment, to have a private car, fashionable clothes and the latest household electrical appliances, which are all indispensable for a happy heart.
However
, it is
also
 true that material progress alone can not ensure that person can lead a happy activity. Individuals may have a lot of money but if there are no cordial relations among family members, a man can never be happy. In fact, too much wealth can lead to stress in growth if children go astray because of too much wealth.A person who has the barest minimum but a very understanding growth partner and obedient children can be very happy. Good health is another factor needed for well-being. Can you imagine a multimillionaire suffering from cancer being happy? Another big factor is a stable source of income. He can never be happy if he is not sure whether his business will pick up or his job is secure. To conclude, economic victory is important but those who cooperate well with co-workers and those who get along well with families,friends and neighbours are more likely to be happy and it is the same case with those who pursue a variety of interests and hobbies at leisure and those who are in good health.
Submitted by mangalpreet35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • healthcare
  • self-esteem
  • societal status
  • sense of accomplishment
  • multifaceted
  • social relationships
  • mental and physical health
  • sense of purpose
  • fulfillment
  • personal hobbies
  • community involvement
  • mitigate stress
  • emotional and psychological needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!