IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Always advertisements try to impress with a new
product
Use synonyms
 that a business has just lounged.
However
Linking Words
, now, it is noticed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they promote a
product
Use synonyms
 focusing on a special thing which might have. In my opinion, they are making an effort to appeal
consumers
Change preposition
to consumers
show examples
, making them curious to try the
product
Use synonyms
 and personally speaking,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because we keep on buying things that we do not really need.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 development and if
that is
Linking Words
 a negative or positive
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is clear that businesses advertise their
products
Use synonyms
 in order to impress the public, but, unfortunately, people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that way, constantly buy things that are almost the same. Many
products
Use synonyms
 are used for the same reason, they have the same results, but depending on the focus they gave on their promotions, customers will buy more than two
products
Use synonyms
, which do the same thing.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is a huge variety of
products
Use synonyms
 for acne treatment
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the market, but two new
products
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 just lounged. The
first
Linking Words
 one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 promotes that except
from
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
acne treatment, it
moisturise
Change the verb form
moisturises
show examples
 the skin as well. The
second
Linking Words
 one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 said that contains hyaluronic acid, which makes the skin
smoothier
Correct your spelling
smoother
. These two
products
Use synonyms
 do the same thing, but I, like so many other people, bought both.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, that way the market continues to rise as well as the economy. If we do not buy things, the market will decrease.
This
Linking Words
 flow of consumption is necessary for the worldwide economy.
For example
Linking Words
, if the selling rates of a company are not suitable, the business will close and many employees will be without a job. In conclusion, the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 emphasising in their
advertisings
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
 that their
products
Use synonyms
 are new in some way
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is to impress people, so they will go on buying them, making them believe that they do not have a
product
Use synonyms
 like
this
Linking Words
. In my point of view,
that is
Linking Words
 a negative situation, provided that we end up buying many similar
products
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lecinikoleta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: