IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people are now spending more and more time on travelling to work or school Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #work #school #development
Nowadays, to maximize the sizes of the infrastructures, many companies, enterprises, or schools have chosen to be on the outskirt of the city, taking the workforce much
time
 getting to
work
 due to the long
distance
.
Although
 some people think that it has some good benefits, I believe that the more
time
 we travel to
work
 or
school
, the more damaging it is. On the one hand, travelling a long
distance
 to get to
work
 or
school
 will make people more self-disciplined and good at
time
 management. To be punctual, you need to organize yourself and prepare everything in advance so that you can leave the house to
work
 or
school
 on
time
.
Next
, many companies and universities have come up with flexible working hours and virtual classroom plans.
For example
, to avoid wasting travelling
time
, some business owners have applied online working or adjustable working
time
, which means the employees can choose to
work
 from home or start working late as long as they
work
 enough
time
 as prescribed in the labour contract.
On the other hand
, some difficult problems badly impact people under
this
 circumstance. The
first
 to mention is the health affected by traffic congestion and the vast amount of exhausted fume. Usually, the longer
distance
, the more they wait under the heated sun.
Thus
, most workers feel exhausted when arriving at the workplace or
school
.
Besides
, that process will be repeated when they finish working or studying, and it seems that they are all worn out after getting home.
Secondly
,
this
 issue
also
 results in less free
time
 for the labourers, which quickly causes them to be stressed out or even depressed. Another worth mentioning is the travelling fee, as we all know that the gas price is peaking, the expenses are highly unreasonable. To sum up,
although
 the long working
distance
 has helped create some of the potential benefits, I believe that it is a negative development for the dangerous consequences incurred.
Submitted by thanhngo1497 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: