Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

This
essay will be discussed
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
who leave their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
and move to
another cities
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
show examples
for work and study. There are some advantages and disadvantages. Some young
people
apply to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities in other cities or countries. And it's a great opportunity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they can get high education in the best universities
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they choose. And they can get some experience.
Also
, young
people
prefer to look for a job in
another cities
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
show examples
, because they want to get more salary, the best workplaces, and conditions for life.
However
, the disadvantages of it are
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some stress, looking for
a new friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
new friends
a new friend
show examples
, and accommodation. In conclusion, the advantages of
this
development are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. It is the best opportunity for young
people
to be more responsible for their life and to learn and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
achieve what they want.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Educational institutions
  • Job prospects
  • Wages
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Overpopulation
  • Cost of living
  • Rural depopulation
  • Social isolation
  • Traditional values
  • Personal growth
  • Recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: